Blog - The Paint Factory

For those of you who have been hanging out with me for a while, you’re well aware of my problem with Scary Clown Faces.

I almost didn’t write this post. I mean seriously, who wants to write about evil spirits lurking inside doors? Not I. Because surely once you mention your home is possessed by ‘ malevolent spirits who want to cause untold evils’ it becomes problematic when selling the house.

Is it something you have to legally disclose?

I know some of you are new to this ~~awesome~~ mediocre blog, so let me just give you a short recap.

I’ve been going pee-pee in the same downstairs powder room for over eight years. And it’s been blissfully uneventful.

But one day, I started looking at the door opposite me. Nothing special. Just a cheap, builders-grade, hollow core door. But the more I looked at it, the more I realized that I could see a ‘Georgia O’Keeffe’ painting within the veneer grain. And I could live with that…I guess.

But then.

My eyes started searching the veneer markings and

I.Kid.You.Not

There was a Scary Clown Face staring at me. Going pee-pee.

Excuse the poor quality photo (there’s no natural light in the powder room. Only darkness. Dark evil permeating darkness. Can you see him?? Not a drop of booze had I touched that day. Scouts Honor. I shared the photo on my Facebook page, just to see if other people could see him. And they did. And they told me to quickly paint him.

and so I did.

But that didn’t make things any better.

Why would they suggest doing that?

What kind of people are following me on Facebook??

So I repainted him…

…And I left him like that. Waiting for my husband to notice. But he never said anything. So Scary Clown Face stayed around until the joke got old. (This is what happens when you marry a Killjoy). Eventually the time came to rethink the bespectacled little fellow (the clown, not my husband). And so, with heavy heart, I completely covered him up. And he was gone. Just like that. Buh Bye.

Fast forward a few days. I’m doing laundry in the utility room adjacent to the powder room,

and the outside of the powder room door catches my eye.

And saw this.

Scary Clown Face had moved to the exterior of the door!!!!! (You can’t make this stuff up).

Had he been there all along? I don’t know. But I knew he wasn’t going to be staying.

No, not a chance. This kind of stuff will send me to an early grave.

I may not be the smartest kid on the block, but you don’t have to tell me twice.

…

Fast forward a few months.

…

We replaced ALL of the interior doors. Just to be safe (she says, crossing herself).

I found 100 year old solid wood doors (with original brass hardware) on Craigslist; enough to cover the entire house. Our contractor spray painted them in Benjamin Moore Navajo White (one of my favorite neutrals for wood trim. A warm creamy white). Done deal. Although, when it came to renovating our bathroom I wanted to strip the door back to the natural wood to add contrast and texture to the room.

Given that the door was already hung (and the floor tile was white/grey marble).

I didn’t want to risk using a paint stripper. Enter my heat gun. In full transparency, I don’t use it often. It basically has two settings: warm and sorta warmer. If you put it on the highest setting it exudes temperatures that I can personally hit during a hot flash. Trying to strip paint from a door was going to be an arduous task, to put it lightly.

So I called the guys at Wagner, and asked if I could try one of their heat guns. And they said ‘Sure. Try it out, see what you think. And if you want we’ll give you another one for one of your subscribers’. Amazeballs.

Enter this Bad Boy.

The Furno 750

Let me tell you, this is one mean heat gun. It goes up to 1300F (way higher than a menopausal hot flash, my litmus test of sorts). I love it. It has 117 different temperatures, I mean – c’mon! It’s one of those tools that you hold and your whole physique changes. You’re in control. You know what you’re doing, and you’re not about to take any prisoners. It’s one of ‘those’ tools. Seriously, it stripped the paint off the door like a knife going through soft butter. That easy. I’ve since used it on removing a veneer top to a buffet. ZAP! I laugh in the face of peeling veneer.

This is the new bathroom door. Glorious.